I’m nearly worthless before 6:30am these days. Two days in a row of turning the 5:30am alarm off and getting out of bed only to realize I’m still asleep. As I fall to the floor, it isn’t until my head bounces elegantly off the carpet that I shouldn’t have gotten up in the first place. My only choice is to retreat clumsily back into bed, still wearing the gym clothes that I wore to make it “easier” to get up and go. Once here, I dream of lollipops and unicorns playing poker, until eventually the fog of sleep starts to clear and I find myself wading through the Bog o’ Guilt & Gluttony. I feel like complete A$$ for not getting up and making myself do what I need to do. And I then start to resent my wife AND our bed for being so damn warm and comfortable.

‘What the hell is his problem?’, you ask. Well I don’t KNOW dammit! If I knew, do you think I’d be here writing about it?!?! I’ve come up with SEVERAL theories though: Daylight Savings Time being in November still f-ing with me; still exhausted from Vegas; my body secretly wants me to go back to being the fat kid in sweatpants and cardigan sweaters; I’m depressed but about what I have no idea; I love sleeping like the fat kid loves cake; I’m not eating enough fried chicken. (Note on that last one: when I eat fried chicken, I rarely sleep through the night – I almost always have to drop the kids off at the pool around 4am – and it’s easy to stay up & get productive.)

So there are several options. So I’ll add a poll here to see what you, my readers, think.

OH, and then I saw a young filly on the train with a copy of Runner’s World sticking out of her larger-than-a-bread-basket handbag today. I took this as (insert deity of preference)’s way of telling me either that a) I should go back to RW for the inspiration to stay active; or b) that my current handbag is not nearly big enough; or c) only young fillies can call themselves young fillies. Bottom line, made me feel inadequate. (Surprise!)

So vote in the poll.

Meanwhile, we’re working on the Thank-You’s for the wedding attendees & gift givers. Now if you’re one of those people that tallies the days it takes to receive official Notice of Gratitude (NOG), keep in mind that we’re only at Day 13, NOT Day 16, as we were still in NJ sans cards for three days after the 13th. So trot over to your little NOG tally pad and erase three hash marks.

Don’t say hash marks.

Alright, that is all. Improv doesn’t start for a whole week. I need it. I’m near fiending for it. OH! speaking of Improv, the wyf and I went to the Improv at Harrah’s on Saturday night. Saw the guy who does the voice of Roger Rabbit do stand-up. Pretty awesome – he basically talked to half a dozen people in the audience, did a funny interview bit, then wove them all together in a song he improvised on the spot while playing the piano & harmonica. TOTALLY Improv’d it up, and he was damn funny (if a bit old-fashioned and dirty – he made the whole “vagina as a wind tunnel” joke about a woman who’d had 4 children – which is, y’know, not classy).